#MaudlinSucker


It is always good to be emotional but bad to be a emotional fool.I was an emotional person since childhood and was easily swayed away by anyone and sometime being an emotional fool.So as I grew up ,I realized people would make fun of me or use and so I started hiding my emotions .And I mastered this art until my college life got over .I hid my pain ,my likeliness ,my dislikes everything .When I was sad I couldn’t talk to anyone .Now there were two parts to this hiding ,first of all I was way too introverted nature and secondly ,I thought I was an emotional fool .But what I didn’t knew that in the process of hiding ,I became defensive .

So once the collage was over I wondered why I had to follow the rules and regulations and I started being myself more .I couldn’t understand the true meaning of being myself .I was alive when there was less going on . I started preferring a particular environment.I was going through hard times .The more I tried not be emotional the more my anger grew .I wanted something but just because I know I would sound emotional ,I drew myself away from the same .The frustration grew inside and the feeling of un -satisfactions replaced in me .Behind the anger was my sadness of not achieving what I wanted to achieve .But the path I took was for not achieving something either in academic or personal or professional life was far more dangerous than I could have taken .I took it all inside and started getting all bottled up .The angry face for not showing my feelings and sad face behind the angry one was became my personality.I stopped growing .If I grew the anger continued with me .It didn’t take a rest and neither did I .I wanted to try out like an excursion,wanting to change myself .But without a guide and positivism in my life I grew more unsatisfied .

I thought myself to wise and made a fool of myself when I did not had the support .When I got support, it was good for me but since it came in the form of negativity ,I grew but stumbled soon .I stumbled bad and had to as there is no shortcut ,it takes time ,hit and trial to build a different better version of your self .

Its said you can’t keep doing the same things and expect different results but until you have failed ,big for small ,you might not know what is right .You need to know the wrong path to consciously choose the right one .

From being an emotional fool to becoming emotionless was my path.

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