True self care is not salt baths and chocolate cake ,it is making the choice to build life you don’t need to regularly escape from.I was clearly running from life . I had been running my whole life from one thing or another ,I could never understand or didn’t wanted to what I really wanted .I know I wanted my family but I was not sure what kind of life I wanted to build around me .I still don’t now but for the first time in life I knew what I didn’t wanted .I didn’t have the guts to do what I wanted .I feared to accept what I wanted
If I die what ,I didn’t wanted people to know what they know me .I wanted more from life clearly .I wanted a different life .I once imagined a life with a good paying job ,a loving partner and my own family and then I would have lived happily ever after .But no body talks what happens after happily ever after ??I would not say nothing remains forever but I would say that nothing remains the same forever .If you set a standard of life it would eventually change ,level down or level up .I had lived that life which I thought would have given me happiness but it didn’t .It didn’t wanted to be locked again into the predictable future .I wanted to explore the Unknown ,but I never knew I had the strength to go after everything I wanted .I have been feeling
I knew what I wanted ,I wanted to be in the JOMO and come out from FOMO. I never wanted to do the job I had the skill for .I wanted a whole different future from what I had already planned .I wanted to start over ,I wanted to do something different from everyone .I wanted to be around people to help them reach a higher purpose .I wanted to work 24*7 and enjoy doing it .I wanted to come out of the fear of people .I didn’t wanted to give in my 12 hours to a job that I had the skill for but was not serving the purpose I was looking for .I didn’t wanted to work for that paid me good .I was not born to pay the bills and and continue doing that .I wanted to fall in love and for the first time in my life I was coming to believe that good things are possible in life .I didn’t knew how to start ,I didn’t have a plan . I didn’t knew where to start.Everyday I slept at night I used to say to myself one more day less for what ,I still don’t know .It was like I was dying of something everyday in life .I didn’t wanted to follow the known paths as they seemed to be misguiding somehow .I always thought there was something in between the lines and I was trying to read between the lines without knowing what I wanted .
I wanted my story to end differently.