I am at a place in life wherein being alone is much much peaceful then being too much involved with people mentally.When end of the day I am with myself each day I realise that life has been changed for me .I am at a different place in life .I was different things that I would have ever wanted .I have crushes and tend to forget them till the end of the day .I have started talking to people .At night ,I don’t cry that much and each day I have been realizing that I might be moving forward or how could I have been doing this better or in what way .At the end of the day I hardly remember anyone ,I am more interested in having good night sleep than talking to anyone else.
I have started identifying the toxic things for means have started removing those things or people .If somebody thinks less of me ,it doesn’t lowers my confidence that much .I hardly give a damn about anything at night time .If I am asleep ,I am ok with myself .I somehow have just started feeling that I am not sure what life have in store for me but still I would make it in life somewhere ,and that somewhere would be my own .I have started ignoring the daily tantrum life shows at me .I meet only if I want to .and not forcibly .I have stopped disliking anyone because who would spent time to think about anyone at night .Its my time and mine only .No one to interfere with it .I have stopped liking the TV and have started remembering my goals that I have been setting for myself for so long .I think however slow it is ,its a progress.I have for once started believing again that I would be able to live this life peacefully .Yeah health is still a issue but I guess would have to deal with it anyhow .Sometimes when you are sad or unhappy may you know yourself whats best for you and nobody else .
I have hopes now that everything would be fine ,that I had lost somehow .I have been damaged ones but now that I know to smile when damaged .I know I don’t others to be happy I can do it for myself and basically what I am learning is self love .I have stared building that attitude in life that whatever happens I could be more damaged .I feel like I have nothing to loose .If someone calls me looser ,I don’t take that personally anymore
I have been overcoming the fear .The fear of loosing people ,loosing myself ,loosing job or loosing my love .I find that its more peaceful to be alone and happy than being with some one and being unhappy .No body could be unhappy with you when you are alone and you cannot be unhappy with anyone .That way I could feel the emotions as they are .Love for family and friends ,empathy for others ,and just not showing any unnecessary care for people who could walk over me .I am been trying to become twice the person I was.Anger is decreased in life .I feel I am transitioning in life correctly for the first time.
Few days back I asked myself a question that if I could be alone and happy and here I am believing that somewhere down the road that’s possible.
The best thing motivation could give you is keep going in spite of all the challenges .Your subconscious comes to believe that you can do it in-spite of all the challenges .My life is different for other girls around my life and for the first time I realized that I am strong and special in a unique kind of way!!