I was walking into my office yesterday when I suddenly realized the hollowness ,I have drowning myself into .I knew I would be alone now but this was not alone this was my freedom .May be I was destined to do something else in-spite of just getting married. I felt happy and sad at the same time .Sad because no special someone but happy because now the control of my life was in my hands .I could do something different from it .When I say something different it doesn’t means I am going to do that will change my life forever and all the over enthusiastic stuff .It was more like I could live on my own wishes and terms .I don’t need to adjust with anyone .
Clearly I was happy from outside but was sad from inside .But I wanted to show I was happy because the world doesn’t care for emotions .So I was happy more than ever.One thing I noticed when you choose to be happy then what so ever happens in the world I stopped caring .What people were thinking about me .The tension I used to have everything started to fade a little.I stopped caring about what my boss was yelling at .I stopped caring about what will happen to me,that will I ever be move forward in life .I stopped caring simply .I started laughing at little things in life .I stopped thinking about office after office hours .I stopped thinking about what the relatives are going to say .I started thinking positive .I just let accept myself as I was .My main focus was my health .I noticed that half of my problems were due to my health .I was continuously in hold of some kind of illness.
I was not thinking about anyone .I started laughing at myself for my mistakes .I resisted being around people .My mind was not in the right place but it was also not in the wrong place as earlier.I saving myself from anything wrong that was my first priority .People around made fun of me .They passed comments on me about my behavior .Sometimes they called me a cartoon .Other times they called me a looser .They gossiped about me. Put me in different frames .But something has changed in me .It didn’t effect me .I remained silent and observe them and my mind was totally in a different place where .I remained myself and just people behave and show their true colors .Some tried to use me for their ego perspective .Some tried to disturb me so that I could freak out .Some tried to kill my opportunities .But then there were some who tried to remain there for me and I found out no matter what happens in life they are my people .They couldn’t hurt me .They always cared for me and didn’t let me drown in the midst of storm that I was into .They showed me to live the life and not to worry so much .They taught me to let go of things that are not in control and find happiness in what you do .I knew by now ,whatever life gave me I could bear it .It gave me sigh of relief and heart at peace .
I thanked god as if some weight was taken away from my heart !!!!
I thanked people for ridiculing me.I started loving my haters .I thanked people for killing my opportunities and putting me behind the scenes .It was helping me what I wanted to do .It sounded crazy but more people obsessed about pushing me down ,the less I started caring .Immense freedom it was.