#TheGnawingPain…continues


Every person views life from his or her perspective .When a person becomes popular , some people will never admit it that they worked so hard or were successful .Specially the ones who had been there around them when they were nothing much .When a person becomes popular ,the people who knew them would speak about them whether bad or good but they would speak up.

I say you get your real friends not when you are losing or lost and were there to console .But those who could stand with you in your success. Yes those are the real ones’. So choose your friends wisely .Also don’t change yourself for the opinion of other .

When I broke up ,I thought we could remain friends but it couldn’t become possible .Whenever I called he was talking about his failures and why he could not do whatever he wanted to do in life and why his life was not fair.Never did he utter something like he missed me or something .

So I chose not to continue speaking .I called him only when I really missed him .But then too I had to hear all the blame games as to why I was irritating him or why I was the root cause of all problems in his life and the list was endless .If I reasoned even one thing ,I was arguing .I stopped talking .Like he never wanted me in his life .That was pretty clear when we broke up but he was not even interested in knowing that I was well or not .He simply put me out of his life and that was it .So easy .

He said he had real problems .I couldn’t take it when we stopped talking .I fought to keep the talk at least but he was least interested .Either he was asking about the information of what was going on in my life and then he would like to comment on all of that and tell me how wrong I was handling everything and how his advice only could save me from the world .I was not supposed to give him advice .Only he was as he knew everything .Actually after a few months it could see where I was wrong .I was me who was trying to keep contacts .It was me who was blamed for everything unreasonably going wrong in his life .I was me who suffered cried and became frustrated .This happens when you gaze back too much into your past and try to fix the dubious things .You cannot fix a mirror when its broken .It might create more pain.But I didn’t have the patience to leave it like that all over .

I wanted to heal and move on.So I started looking back a little before what we were like when we were about to break up .And I saw so many signs that said we were no good together .I saw signs that told me he wanted to get rid of me .He was too busy blaming me for all the things going wrong in his life .He was not successful .But I was not the reason for that I told him the same. I even saw the fight that I put up for his love and attention was useless .I should have left him alone at that point of time .I should have not stretched that far.I saw something that was already broken .I was a burden for him that he didn’t wanted to carry .He didn’t have any solid proof plans for marriage .He didn’t see his life with me after marriage .It appeared it was all in my head .I told him that I would wait for things to settle down ,he didn’t wanted me to do that either .Firstly ,I was not very good at waiting.Secondly ,it was not what he felt

I tried so many things but he was over me already .I was the one lingering .He said he could control his feelings but deep down he didn’t wanted to me with him.All those things he found cute earlier were irritating to him now.He stopped loving me why I couldn’t have been able to do the same .

I have never given up in my life on anything .I had to accept that it was all in my head and not a reality .

He never called me .Never needed me .He was fine with his life with whatever was going on.

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