#TheChimera


I am sleeping and there is a snake sleeping near me .I just turned to other side and it sulked slowly.I smiled and turned the other way and slept carefree like a baby. Ahh ,wish everyday was same !!!!

There was bell on the door with the weird sound and long press this time .I woke up all of a sudden ,jumped out of my bed and gasped my breath ,but there was no snake .I was so terrified that I forgot to breathe and slowly walked towards the door..It was from housekeeping .He came for wake-up call that I asked yesterday ,but since the extension was not working he came to check in case.
Anyway back to the snake ,till now I was totally up and realized that it was only a dream.How weird I thought but it was more like ‘Ehh’ for me since I have been having such weird dreams since last two to three years.I had a dream wherein there were snakes dancing .I don’t know what’s there with me and snakes .May be I saw a lot of Harry Potter that induced snakes in my head .In one of my dream I was inside a snakes body .
It was really weird .I couldn’t eat that day because you know how could I eat I was already eaten by a snake .

Anyways ,many people have asked me till date about your dream and my answer to them is always the same ,right from childhood ,that “I don’t know ‘.Yeah ,its not like I don’t know but may be I am not able to accept it till now .I was too afraid to accept that .I remember I was in class 9th ,my class teacher was asking everyone in the class what is your dream,everybody shared,I never shared .When she asked me why I didn’t shared I said time will reveal.
I felt like a failure today ,complete failure .We were supposed to get married last year .It has been a year and we broke up .Not because we had a fight but due to his parents didn’t agree .We were from different castes .I was a Gujarati Nagar brahmin and he was Kayastha .Apart from being Kayasata ,he belonged to ‘Bihar’.We said goodbye to each other a year ago,but it felt like yesterday we met .

All my friends were married and few had kids too ,few that were not married were touring around the world .Some others were planning to get hitched to their loved ones.It was the perfect age to get married ,I thought so .Actually not me but my parents thought that .I had been working now for almost five and a half years and you may guess the age of an engineer who after doing engineering had worked for that long .Everything was set, our marriage ,the place where we would be living after marriage, our jobs ,our day to day life .We planned everything but nothing happened .It was shattering .It kind of gave a scar that would remain for the whole life .Sometimes I felt it was a dream that I was living but then I pinched myself and found out that it was real .

It was all so sad !!!. Here I was with nothing in mind .Didn’t knew where to go ,what to do .Thank God we both had Jobs that kept us moving .I was for sure that I would again go into depression and this time would not be able to come out of it.

Yeah I had been in depression before .So I did everything I could do to not go into depression not aware of the fact that I had become a irritating angry unstable person .And I hardly cared now what anyone thought of me to be.I was blank inside .No feelings .I didn’t cry when I was alone .I felt a different kind of energy in me and not a positive one.It was anxiety .I cried only when I talked to him sometimes but other than that I didn’t cry at all .Although I was so anxious all the time.



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